Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
