Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
