I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
