Sry I called you an 8
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
