ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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