I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
babies were throwing up all over the place
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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