just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
