would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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