yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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