if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
