dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
