So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
