What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
