So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
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Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
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We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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