At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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