cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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