its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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