If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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