hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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