nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
