I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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