if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
