your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was not drunk enough for that final.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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