Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
