Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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