I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
