a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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