so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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