I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
