That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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