Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize