Midget sex pt 2 tonight
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
