I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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