I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
