were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
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I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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