YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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