Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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