Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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