No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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