we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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