I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
