I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize