Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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