I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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