Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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