so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize