i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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