My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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