How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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