she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize