Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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