he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
