P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
