Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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