got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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