Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
