Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize