Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
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