So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
