Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
