i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
