Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Help. Why am I so naked?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
