i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
