physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
