I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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