There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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